


Yule

by Kittenmommy



Series: Loki and Pepper Potts: Conversations, Drinks, and Other Really Bad Ideas [34]
Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas, Established Relationship, F/M, Families of Choice, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized racism, Loki and Steve bonding, Mild Language, racism against jotnar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 05:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenmommy/pseuds/Kittenmommy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“<i>Why am I such a misfit?  I am not just a nitwit,</i>” a stop-motion elf is singing on the television.  “<i>They can’t fire me,</i> I QUIT<i>!  Seems I don’t fit in!</i>”</p><p>Stop-motion Rudolph joins in: “<i>We may be different from the rest.  Who decides the test of what is really best?  We’re a couple of misfits, we’re a couple of misfits.  What’s the matter with misfits?  That’s where we fit in!</i>”</p><p>“Hey, gang, they’re singing our song!” Tony proclaims.  He strides into the room, followed by his guests and Pepper.  “No, seriously, you guys, that should be The Avengers’ Official Theme Song!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yule

**Author's Note:**

> _The Avengers_ belongs to Marvel.
> 
>  _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ , _Santa Claus is Coming To Town_ , _The Year Without A Santa Claus_ , and _Frosty The Snowman_ all belong to Rankin/Bass.
> 
>  _A Charlie Brown Christmas_ belongs to Warner Brothers, (the late) Charles M. Schultz, and CBS Television.
> 
> And I'm not making any money from this.

Tony rolls over and opens his eyes.

“Good morning, Mister Stark,” JARVIS says. “It is nine twenty-six AM on Wednesday, December twenty-fifth, twenty-thirteen. Today is Christmas Day. The weather forecast – ”

“Kill it, JARVIS,” Tony says.

“Yes sir.”

Tony gets out of bed and heads for the bathroom. “Where is everyone?”

“Miss Lokidóttir is in the Avengers’ kitchen with Miss Potts. They are preparing the turkey. Mister Laufeyson is with them, having coffee. Agents Barton and Romanov left Stark Tower at eight fifty-seven last night for an assignment in an undisclosed location.”

“’An undisclosed location’?” Tony repeats dubiously, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, JARVIS… you can do better than that.”

“They have gone to Aruba, sir.”

Tony snorts. “Assignment, my ass!”

“I believe I will not say what I am thinking, sir.”

“That’d be a first.”

JARVIS ignores this. “Doctor Banner is in his room – ”

“Wait, what?” Tony asks, frowning. “I thought he was visiting his parents in Chappaqua.”

“Doctor Banner returned to Stark Tower at approximately one thirty-seven this morning, sir.”

“That’s weird.”

“Yes, sir. And Captain Rogers is still asleep.”

“He’s not with his torch singer?”

“Apparently not, sir.”

“Hmm.” Tony mulls this over for a moment. “Anything else I should know?”

JARVIS seems to hesitate. 

“Miss Lokidóttir appears to feel unwell… a fact that she is hiding from Miss Potts and Mister Laufeyson.”

“Unwell?” Tony repeats, frowning again. “Do Frost Giants get sick?”

“Insufficient data, sir.”

“Right. I had a feeling you’d say that. Why don’t you send Doctor Banner to take a look at her? Tell him to be subtle.”

“’Subtle’, sir?” JARVIS repeats. “I am surprised you know the meaning of the word.”

“Fuck off, JARVIS.”

* * *

Bruce is already in the kitchen when Tony finally joins them.

Pepper and Hel are hard at work. Pepper is doing something with the turkey, and Hel is sautéing something fragrant in the skillet. 

“Mmm, smells good!” Tony says. She beams at him and leans down to kiss him. 

He glances over at Loki a bit apprehensively, but Loki isn’t even looking in their direction. He and Bruce are sitting at the table, deep in discussion about something… magic, from the sound of it.

“We’re still not sure how it works,” Bruce is saying. Tony gets a mug from the cupboard and pours himself a cup of coffee from the coffee maker on the counter.

“’Sup, guys?” he asks, joining Bruce and Loki at the table.

“Bruce has been telling me that you’ve not really gotten anywhere with the anti-magical technology you, ah, liberated from HYDRA’s base.”

Tony frowns. “Yeah, the designs don’t make a lot of sense to me… but then, I don’t know anything about magic.” He sips his coffee, considering. “Maybe you’d like to take a look at them?”

“If you’d like.”

Tony leans back in his chair. “So, what’s up with the Parental Units, Bruce? I thought you’d be in Chappaqua at least until after the New Year.”

“I’d rather not talk about it, Tony,” Bruce says, lips pressed together in a thin line.

At the counter, Pepper has wrangled the turkey into the roasting pan, and Hel is combining the contents of the skillet with some stale bread.

“So, Steve’s still in bed, huh?” Tony asks, obviously changing the subject.

“I assume so,” Loki agrees, sipping his iced coffee.

“Wonder what happened with that torch singer,” Bruce muses.

Tony smirks. “She probably got sick of all that hand-holding and chaste kisses on the cheek.”

“Oh come on, Tony,” Bruce says. “Steve can’t be _that_ naïve!”

“Are you kidding? I tried to explain condoms to him once… he turned so red, I thought his head was going to explode.”

“What are condoms?” Loki asks curiously.

Tony chokes on his coffee. “OK, you know what? I’m not having that conversation with you.”

“Don’t look at me!” Bruce says, holding his hands up.

Pepper has been shoving stuffing inside the turkey. Now she turns away from her task to regard Bruce and Tony steadily.

“You’re like a couple of children,” she finally tells them. Tony sticks out his tongue at her, and Hel giggles.

* * *

Later, Pepper stands in the living room of Tony’s penthouse, waiting. 

She still can’t figure out why Tony had decided to go out on patrol _today_ of all days… especially since he usually had to be coaxed, cajoled, and guilted into it.

The elevator _dings_ and the doors open.

“Welcome, and Merry Christmas,” Pepper says, smiling.

“That’s Pepper Potts!” the blond boy says excitedly.

Sylvia Jennings laughs. “I know, Calvin.”

Freddy Phillips strides out of the elevator, cradling a bottle with a red bow stuck to the top. Pepper catches a glimpse of the label; a high-end scotch that usually goes for around five hundred dollars a bottle.

“For Tony,” he says, offering Pepper the bottle.

“Hang onto it,” she tells him with a smile. “He’ll be here soon. JARVIS?”

“Mister Stark’s ETA is approximately twelve oh-two and twenty-six seconds.”

“Whoa!” Calvin says, staring at the ceiling. “That’s JARVIS?”

“Indeed,” the voice replies. “Welcome, Master Jennings.”

“He knows my name!” Calvin crows, grinning.

“Come over here, Calvin,” Pepper says, motioning him toward the patio doors. “You’ll want to see this.”

As they watch through the windows, something comes streaking across the sky. 

It lands at the end of a platform that juts out from the patio, and now they can clearly see – 

“Iron Man!” Calvin shouts, delighted, and Pepper suddenly realizes why Tony had gone out “on patrol”.

As he strides toward the house, the automated system begins removing his armor as he walks so that when he reaches the door, Tony is in black pants and a black long-sleeved shirt with a hole cut in the chest to display the arc reactor.

“Hey, Big Guy,” Tony says, holding out his hand for a fist bump with Calvin. “How ya been?”

“Great, Iron Man! Thanks for inviting us! This is gonna be the best Christmas _ever_!”

“Yeah, probably,” Tony says modestly. “Oh… JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“I need you to get to work on that project now.”

“Scanning and uploading now, sir.”

“Fabricate.”

“Yes, sir. Estimated time to completion is four hours, sixteen minutes, and forty-seven seconds.”

“What’s that about?” Pepper asks quietly.

Tony grins. “You’ll see!” He approaches Freddy, extending his hand. “Good to see you again.”

“Same here,” Freddy replies, shifting the bottle in his arm to shake hands. “Oh, this is for you,” he says, offering the bottle.

“Awesome!” Tony says, a grin of genuine pleasure spreading across his face. “Thank you!”

“I’m afraid mine isn’t quite as nice,” Sylvia apologizes, pulling a bottle of Johnnie Walker out of her purse. “I never buy alcohol anymore, but Calvin was insistent that ‘Iron Man drinks scotch’…” She shrugs. “I wasn’t sure what to get.”

“Are you kidding?” he asks, taking the bottle from her. “This is great! _Two_ bottles of scotch! I’m like a kid in a candy store!”

“Sir,” JARVIS interrupts, “Miss Lokidóttir has asked when you will be returning.”

“Tell her we’re on our way,” Tony replies, already moving toward the elevator. “Come on, people! Time to celebrate!”

* * *

When the elevator doors open onto the Avengers’ living room, the smell of roasting turkey fills the air. 

The entire place has been decorated festively with garlands of pine, blinking lights, falls of holly, and a magnificent, lavishly decorated twenty foot live pine with a mountain of gifts stacked underneath.

“Hey, everyone!” Tony calls as he and his guests exit the elevator.

Bruce is on one of the sofas, watching _Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer_. 

Hel and Loki are standing by the bar. 

Hel is wearing red jeans, a white blouse, and a green sweater with a gingerbread man on it. She’s got a pair of cloth reindeer antlers decorated with little blinking lights on her head, and she’s laughing and trying to put a flashing electronic red reindeer nose on Loki, who is only half-heartedly dodging her.

“Come, Father, we must be festive!” she coaxes.

“ _Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit,_ ” a stop-motion elf is singing on the television. “ _They can’t fire me,_ I QUIT _! Seems I don’t fit in!_ ”

Stop-motion Rudolph joins in: “ _We may be different from the rest. Who decides the test of what is really best? We’re a couple of misfits, we’re a couple of misfits. What’s the matter with misfits? That’s where we fit in!_ ”

“Hey, gang, they’re singing our song!” Tony proclaims. He strides into the room, followed by his guests and Pepper. “No, seriously, you guys, that should be The Avengers’ Official Theme Song!”

“Speak for yourself, Stark,” Loki says, and his voice sounds funny because he’s now wearing a flashing red reindeer nose over his own nose.

“Hey… there’s something different about you, Loke,” Tony says, staring at him and frowning. Suddenly, his face brightens. “I know – you got a haircut!”

Loki sighs and shakes his head.

“OK, I know everyone remembers Doctor Phillips and Nurse Jennings,” Tony says, “but I don’t think you’ve met my friend Calvin yet.”

Bruce finds the television remote and pauses the show.

“Hello, Calvin,” he says warmly. “I’m Bruce Banner.”

“Yeah, I know!” Calvin is grinning from ear-to-ear. “The Hulk!”

“Glad you could join us today,” Bruce says. He looks up. “Doctor Phillips, Nurse… good to see you again.”

“Same here, Doctor Banner,” Freddy agrees.

“I need to check the turkey,” Pepper says.

“Want help?” Sylvia asks.

“Sure.”

Sylvia follows Pepper to the kitchen.

“Hey, Calvin… come meet some people,” Tony says, striding over to the bar with Freddy in tow. He takes down some glasses and opens the Johnnie Walker. “Calvin, this is Loki and his daughter – ”

“The Queen of Hell!” Calvin finishes.

She bites her lip and looks at the floor. “Some call me that.”

“Yeah, and it’s not very nice,” Tony agrees.

“I’m sorry,” Calvin says. “I didn’t know that. I mean, the _Daily Bugle_ put it on their front page!”

“Much to their regret,” Loki murmurs.

“So what should I call you?” Calvin asks.

She smiles. “Hel.”

“Are you and Iron Man going out?”

“Going out where?” she asks, puzzled.

“Dating,” Tony explains. “You know… ah, courting.”

“Oh, yes!” Hel’s smile is dazzling. “Yes we are, Calvin!”

“Awesome!”

“But you can’t talk about it to anyone, OK?” Tony says. “Papers like the _Bugle_ like to write all kinds of hurtful lies, and we wouldn’t want to give them any more material, right?”

“No, of course not!” Calvin agrees. “I promise I won’t tell _anyone_ , Iron Man! Remember how good I kept your other secret?”

Tony grins. “I sure do!” He fills a glass with ice and grabs the soda nozzle. “What’s your poison?”

“Pepsi, please!” Calvin says, and Tony shoots soda into the glass and puts it in front him.

“Anyone else want drinks?” Tony calls to the room at large.

“Nah, I’m good,” Bruce replies. He’s unfrozen the video and is back to watching the stop-motion exploits of Rudolph and his elven friend.

Tony hands out glasses of scotch to Freddy, Loki and Hel.

“Chin-chin,” Freddy says.

“Chin-chin!” Calvin replies gleefully, and clicks his glass of Pepsi against Freddy’s scotch.

“So, uh…” Tony begins awkwardly. “I guess your daughter didn’t want to come?”

“No,” Freddy says shortly. “She chose to go to Chicago with her mother.”

“Relatives?” Tony asks.

Freddy shakes his head. “No… just an old college roommate of my ex-wife’s.”

“Stupid,” Calvin mutters. “Who wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with The Avengers?”

Freddy gives a short laugh. “If it were just The Avengers, she’d probably be here. _I’m_ the one she doesn’t want to spend Christmas with!”

“Ouch,” Tony mutters, and tops off Freddy’s scotch.

Hel is frowning. “I do not understand… I cannot imagine wishing to be apart from Father.”

“Well, your dad is probably a lot better at being a dad than I am,” Freddy says bitterly, and drains his scotch.

“My dad _sucks_ ,” Calvin says quietly. “I’ve never even _met_ him, and he never sent me a birthday card or _anything_ … _ever_.”

“Yeah, well, _my_ dad…” Tony begins. He catches Freddy’s eye and then just _stops_.

There’s an awkward silence.

“Tony…” Freddy begins.

“Nope,” Tony says firmly. “No way. We are _absolutely not_ doing this.” He picks up his scotch and downs it in a single gulp. 

“Doing what?” Calvin asks curiously.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Tony continues, “the Horrible Father of The Millennium Award would have to go to Loki’s dad… I mean seriously, Odin takes the cake.” He pours himself another scotch. “Shit, he takes the whole goddamn bakery!”

Loki gives him a _look_ (the effect of which is somewhat diminished by the flashing red nose he’s still wearing) but doesn’t actually disagree.

Calvin laughs.

“Oops, sorry kid!” Tony apologizes. “Just pretend you didn’t hear that… your mom probably wouldn’t approve!”

Calvin shrugs. “She says way worse than that about my dad.”

“Really?” Tony asks, grinning. “Like what?”

“Uh… like ‘Dickless Wonder’. And ‘Useless Prick’. And – ” he glances around to make sure Sylvia is nowhere in sight, and then lowers his voice, “ – ‘Weasely Fuckbag’.”

Tony – always a paragon of maturity – laughs.

“Hey… where’s Hawkeye, the Black Widow, and Captain America?” Calvin suddenly asks.

“Steve’s still asleep, I think.” Tony says. “And Clint and Natasha are ‘on an assignment’.” Tony rolls his eyes. “In _Aruba_.”

“Oh. Well, I hope they’re having fun.”

“Me too, kid.”

Pepper appears in the doorway from the kitchen. “Time to eat!”

“I haven’t seen this for years,” Bruce muses from the sofa, absorbed in the Christmas special.

“See?” Tony says, coming out from behind the bar. “I _told_ you this would be great!”

“Is Steve still holed up in his bedroom?” Pepper asks.

Bruce shrugs. “I guess so.”

“Dinner is pretty much ready,” Pepper says. “Maybe someone should check on him?” She glances around the room.

“I’ll go,” Loki finally says. He pulls off his flashing reindeer nose and leaves it on the bar.

As Loki walks away, Tony happens to glance at Hel. She’s grimacing like she’s in pain, one hand on her midsection.

“Hey, you OK?” Tony asks, frowning.

She looks startled, then guilty. “What? Yes. Yes, Tony, I am fine. Thank you.”

“You don’t _look_ fine,” he presses, putting an arm around her. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

She nods and gives him a little smile. “Yes, Tony. I have you, and I am fine.”

* * *

Loki raps softly on Steve’s bedroom door.

“What?” Steve’s irritable voice asks.

“It is I, Loki,” he says through the door. “May I enter?”

Steve makes a noncommittal sound that Loki decides to take as acquiescence. He opens the door and steps inside.

The room is dark. It’s a moment before Loki’s eyes adjust.

Steve is still in bed, the covers pulled up over his head.

“What do you want?” he mumbles.

“Pepper has asked me to tell you that the feast is ready to be served.”

“Oh, goody.”

This doesn’t sound like the Captain America Loki knows. He frowns. 

“JARVIS, may we have some light, please?” he asks. 

The dark windows gradually fade to transparency, and the dark room brightens.

“Loki – ”

“Are you ill? Please, if you are ill, I will summon Bruce.”

“I’m not ill,” Steve says, and then laughs bitterly. “ _Sick_ , but not ill.”

Loki frowns again. “I am afraid that I do not understand.”

“No, you _wouldn’t_.” His voice drips with something Loki easily recognizes: Self-loathing.

He takes a breath. “All right. Explain it to me, then.”

“I can’t.”

Loki moves to the king-sized bed and sits on the edge, on the side farthest away from Steve’s huddled form.

It is a moment before he speaks.

“I was old when the one whose birth you celebrate today was born. I have traveled to all of the Nine Realms – and beyond – and in my long life I have seen and done many, many things.”

Steve shifts under his blankets, but remains silent.

“There is nothing you could tell me that would shock me, I promise you.”

Steve is quiet for so long that Loki begins to think he’s fallen asleep. And then:

“Pepper is a beautiful woman.”

“Yes,” Loki agrees.

“And Natasha… she’s gorgeous.”

Loki makes a sound of agreement.

“And Hel… your daughter is a lovely young lady.”

“Thank you.”

Steve pulls the covers down and finally turns over to look up at Loki.

“Peggy… she was… so, _so_ beautiful.”

Loki nods. “I have seen her photograph.”

“I put my plane in the water.”

“Yes.” Loki is quiet for a moment. “Your bravery saved many lives that day. I do not know that I would have had the courage to do the same.”

“You would’ve,” Steve says without hesitation.

Loki smiles slightly. “I am flattered that you think so.”

“I thought I was going to die… and I was all right with that. You know? So when I woke up, and everything was so different…”

“Peggy is still living, is she not?”

“Yeah.” Steve’s laugh is short and bitter. “But I’m too chicken to call her. She was the only woman I ever loved, that I ever _could_ love. I guess that doesn’t make much sense to you, does it?”

“Perhaps,” Loki says neutrally, hoping Steve will continue.

“Bucky, he was my best buddy. He was…” Steve looks away from Loki. “I loved him.”

“Ah,” Loki says, finally understanding.

“That name? That Amora called you?”

“ _Ergi_.”

“That’s me, Loki… I’m _ergi_.”

“I see.”

“That’s why Sarah – the torch singer – that’s why she dumped me. She said she knew, she could just _tell_.” He pulls the covers up over his head. “You must be disgusted.”

Steve is surprised when Loki laughs.

“Why ever would you think that?”

Steve pulls the covers down and eyes Loki suspiciously.

“Because the way you talked about it, _ergi_ is the worst thing a man can be.”

Loki shakes his head.

“No, Steve. I do not believe that, though many others do. And still, there are far worse things for one to be on Asgard; one could be Jötun, for example.”

“Sarah said that things are different now, that being… _ergi_ isn’t such a terrible thing now. Why, you can even be _ergi_ in the Army!”

Loki shrugs. 

“I know not of your Army. I _do_ know that one of the bravest, fiercest warriors I have ever known prefers the company of other men. There is no shame in loving another, be they man, woman, or other.”

“I guess it’s hard for me to get past this. In my time, being… _ergi_ was one of the worst things a man could be. It was worse than being a drunk, worse than being a bum, even worse than hitting your old lady or your kid.”

Loki nods. “Change comes slowly.”

“Or not at all,” Steve says. “Jötuns aren’t welcome on Asgard, are they?”

“No, they are not.”

“Do the people there know you’re one?”

“Yes. The All-Father explained all after I fell from the Bifröst.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t lynch you on sight when you went back there.”

Loki shrugs. “Thor is King now. No matter what they think of me – and I am sure it is not flattering – they would not dare speak against me, let alone lay hands upon me.”

Steve nods.

“Steve… there is nothing shameful about being _ergi_. It is how you were born… how you were meant to be.”

“There’s nothing shameful about being a Jötun, either,” Steve fires right back. “It’s how you were born, how you were meant to be.”

Loki makes a face. “It is distasteful to have one’s own words thrown back in one’s face… especially when there is some small truth in them.”

“Can I tell you something without it getting… weird?” Steve asks shyly.

Loki nods wordlessly, unsure what Steve will say next.

“When you got shot and turned blue… I wanted to sketch you like that. You have these designs on your skin… I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Loki frowns. “I loathe that form, for I am a monster.”

“No, Loki, you’re _beautiful_ ,” Steve blurts out, and immediately turns bright red.

Loki looks at him like he’s suddenly grown a second head. “You would be the first to think so.”

Steve shakes his head. “Pepper thinks so too… but she would never tell you, because she knows you hate being blue.”

Loki’s eyebrows go up, but he says nothing.

“Those markings, are they tattoos? Or were you born with them?”

Loki takes a breath. This isn’t a topic he enjoys discussing, but he knows that Steve has just shared his deepest secret, and deserves a similar honesty.

“I know not,” he finally says. “Hel had them as well, but… I never thought to ask her mother. She would have known.”

“I guess you probably had other things on your mind at the time.”

“Yes, I did.”

There is a long silence.

“OK, look,” Steve begins tentatively. “I’ll try to get over being _ergi_ , and you try to get over being a Jötun.” He sticks out his hand. “Deal?”

“You make a hard bargain, Steven Rogers,” Loki murmurs, and shakes Steve’s hand. 

“You, uh… you won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“On my word, Captain Rogers, none will learn of this from me.”

“Thanks, Loki. I really can’t… thanks for _everything_.”

 _It is nothing,_ Loki almost says, but it’s clearly a great deal to Steve, and so he holds his tongue.

“You are welcome,” he says instead. “Now, to feasting.”

“Sure, to feasting,” Steve agrees, and grins.

* * *

Steve and Loki find the others already seated around the table in the Avengers’ dining room.

The elevator _dings_ as Pepper is putting the turkey on the table.

“What now?” Tony asks, exasperated. He reaches for the scotch bottle and refills his glass. He hears Calvin’s voice, awestruck:

“ _Thor!_ ”

“Greetings, friends!” a new voice booms, and everyone looks up to see Thor standing there, grinning from ear to ear.

Loki blinks. 

“This is unexpected. What brings you to Midgard in the midst of Yule, Thor?”

“ _You_ , brother!” 

“Pull up a chair, Thor,” Bruce invites. “We’re just about to eat.”

“Thank you, friend.” He sinks into an empty chair at the foot of the table and resumes talking to Loki:

“The Lady Jane has told me that this festival… this _Christ’s Mass_ … is a very important festival to many here on Midgard, and that it is a time traditionally spent with family. And so,” he shrugs, “I have come to spend it with you… you and Hel.”

Loki takes a breath, looking like he’s going to say something. But he just picks up his wineglass and takes a sip.

Hel grins at Thor. “Welcome, Uncle! I am so glad you are here!”

“And what did the All-Father say?” Loki’s voice is brittle.

Thor frowns. “It matters not, for I am now King.”

Loki snorts, and his voice is rueful: “Ah. So it is as I thought.”

“You know, Loke,” Tony says, sipping at his scotch. “I’m pretty sure that Freddy and Sylvia here would both tell you that if you keep picking at it, it’s _never_ gonna heal.”

Loki shoots him a murderous look. 

“And I believe that the expression is, ‘ _you first_ ’, Stark.”

“Oh, wow… _uncomfortable_ ,” Sylvia murmurs under her breath.

Pepper sits down next to Loki. 

“You know,” she muses, picking up her wineglass, “if I’d wanted to deal with crazy family drama and listen to stupid arguments, I’d have gone home to my parents.”

“You are quite right,” Loki finally murmurs. He looks up, addressing the table at large. “I do apologize for my appalling lapse in manners.”

“Sure, no biggie,” Tony says.

“Tony’s the expert at appalling lapses in manners,” Bruce notes, picking up his fork and reaching for a slice of turkey.

“Fuck you, Banner.”

“Ah, there’s an example,” Bruce notes, gesturing at Tony with his fork. Tony flips him off.

“Brother,” Thor says as he accepts the bowl of stuffing being passed his way. “Will you ride with us on the Hunt? For I will be leading it this year.”

Loki sighs. “I do not know, Thor. I cannot think of it now.”

“Soon,” Thor presses, and Tony can see the pleading look in those big blue eyes.

It suddenly occurs to Tony that Thor loves Loki beyond words, beyond reason… and he wonders why _Loki_ can’t see it, too. With sudden insight, he realizes that while Loki has spent his entire life trying to make Odin proud (and invariably failing), _Thor_ has spent a good part of _his_ life trying to make _Loki_ proud… and has earned nothing but contempt for his stupidity.

He makes a mental note to corner Loki alone with several bottles of good scotch so they can talk this shit out… or _something_ … he doesn’t even know at this point, because damn that Johnnie Walker packs a powerful punch, especially on a mostly empty stomach.

As though reading his mind, Thor says, “Tony Stark, I have brought with me from Asgard many bottles of mead, for I recall how much you enjoyed it during your time with us there. I have left it in the other room, where the bar is.”

Tony grins. “Thor, I don’t care _what_ everyone else says about you… you’re awesome!”

Thor looks puzzled. “Who speaks so of me?”

“He’s joking, Thor,” Pepper says patiently. In an obvious bid to change the subject, she goes on to say, “I don’t think you’ve met Freddy and Sylvia, or Calvin.”

“No, I have not.”

Pepper makes the introductions, and Tony is cajoled into recounting the little that he remembers of their battle with Amora and Skurge. The scotch and the wine (and the grape juice, for Sylvia and Calvin) flow freely, and everyone relaxes in the glow of good food, friendship, and love.

* * *

After dinner, there are more Christmas specials to be watched: _Santa Claus Is Coming To Town_ , _The Year Without A Santa Claus_ , _A Charlie Brown Christmas_ , and – of course! – _Frosty The Snowman_.

“Pay attention, now,” Tony had said, poking Loki in the ribs. “You’ll _love_ this one!”

Loki had rolled his eyes, and Hel had just grinned and snuggled closer to Tony on the sofa.

“Sir,” JARVIS says when the end credits to _Frosty_ begin to roll. “Your project is complete.”

“Awesome!” Tony says, putting his scotch glass on the coffee table and jumping to his feet.

“Ah, the mysterious project!” Pepper exclaims, sipping her drink and leaning back in her seat. “Come on, Tony, what is it?”

“You’ll see!” Tony is rummaging around under the Christmas tree, looking for something.

“I am almost afraid to see what it is,” Loki says.

“What, you didn’t like the ice cream maker?” Tony asks. 

Loki just gives him a _look_ , while Pepper laughs merrily.

Tony finds what he’s looking for – a small package wrapped in shiny red paper with a shiny gold bow – and he comes back over to the sofa.

“Here ya go, Kiddo!” Tony says, tossing the package to Calvin. 

“Wow, thanks, Iron Man!” Calvin says, his eyes shining with happiness.

Tony laughs. “Don’t thank me until you open it!” He picks up his scotch and sips it, watching Calvin unwrap his gift.

From the other sofa, Thor catches Loki’s eye. “Brother, I would speak with you later… it is of Jötunheim.”

Loki frowns at this, but nods.

Meanwhile, Calvin has gotten his gift open and is peering inside the little box.

“What is it, Calvin?” Sylvia asks, grinning.

“I don’t know,” Calvin says, frowning. 

“Show us,” Freddy prompts, and Bruce leans forward in his seat.

Calvin holds up his gift: two circles of silver.

Pepper immediately understands. “Oh, Tony, you _didn’t_!”

Tony grins. “Sure did!”

Calvin frowns. “Did what?”

“Put ‘em on, Big Guy,” Tony says.

“On?” Calvin repeats.

“You know,” Tony says, and holds up his own wrists to show his own set of silver bracelets.

“Tony – ” Pepper begins.

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe,” Tony assures her. “And anyway, this is a gift he can’t take home with him. He’s only gonna use it when he’s here with me. OK, Kiddo?”

“Sure, Iron Man!” Calvin agrees happily and slips the bracelets onto his wrists.

“Now, come on!” Tony says, rising. Two of the elevators _ding_ simultaneously.

Calvin joins Tony by the doors to the balcony.

“Hold up your hands,” Tony says, demonstrating. “JARVIS… deploy!”

Two streaks of red and gold shoot out of the elevators, locking onto silver bracelets and assembling themselves into identical suits of armor.

“Oh… my… God,” Sylvia finally says, and suddenly wishes fervently for a drink.

“Ready to go out on patrol?” Tony’s mechanized voice asks.

“You bet, Iron Man!” Calvin’s equally distorted voice replies.

“Come on, then!” Tony says, opening the balcony doors.

In a streak of scarlet and gold, they’re gone.

FINIS.

**Author's Note:**

> What's up with Bruce and his parents?
> 
> What's wrong with Hel?
> 
> What does Thor want to discuss with Loki?
> 
> All this and more will be answered next time! :D
> 
> In the meantime:
> 
> [ _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3z1iOvXpeY).
> 
> [ _Santa Claus Is Coming To Town_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm-e3v1Nu88).
> 
> [ _The Year Without A Santa Claus_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqVwYx-YT-I).
> 
> [ _Frosty The Snowman_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd39Fnas8Ro).
> 
> "[We're A Couple Of Misfits](http://www.4shared.com/mp3/j_HzX9MY/05_Were_A_Couple_Of_Misfits.html?)".
> 
> Sorry... I couldn't find _A Charlie Brown Christmas_ on YouTube... I apologize for the inconvenience!


End file.
